My sad, confusing, twisted love life.

Where shall we begin?

-The guy who likes me and has asked me out and sexually harassed me.
- One of the guys I liked when I was single. Now we are both taken and are closer friends, but I kinda like him still.
-The guy at my old school who liked me but now ignores me becaused I am taken.

Now for the hard part:

-My boyfriend. People say we look cute together. We are both short, him being one inch taller than me. He will always smile and watch me when I laugh or smile. He says it makes him happy to see me happy. He was my first kiss. But...he will often pay more attention to other girls than me except when we are alone. He calls me 'babe'. I have never heard him call me by my real name. He is very touchy feely. Meaning his hand is always on me. It's cute when we hold hands, hug, or he puts his arms around me but when his hand meets my butt or any of those areas it's uncomfortable. I'll say no but he'll just do it again later. He doesn't text me back for a while after I text him. He used to tease me and it was cute but now his teasing hurts. He'll say he doesn't text much then won't take his eyes off his phone in class. Then he'll smile or laugh at whatever someone texted him? Is it a girl? I have no clue. He always says how happy he is with me. And I love having his attention and love. He's told me he loves me but it's not a deep 'i love you'. He gets jealous easily and is very protective. It's cute. I'm not really complaining about that yet.

-The guy I've liked for quite some years. I've known him for at least 7 years. Probably longer. I've had a crush on him for at least 4-5 years. He liked me for one or two years but I got nervous and turned him down and avoided him. I was afraid to go out with him. I hate myself for that. I had been dropping hints all sophmore year that I liked him. He never got the hint. I told him I liked him last month. But now I have a boyfriend and I don't think this guy is interested in me anymore. Today as I was walking home from school he drives up and offers me a ride. I took it. Sitting there looking at him I realized I still really like him. He's gentle and funny and sweet...and not into me anymore. We made small talk on the way home. He dropped me off and left. I texted him saying thanks for the ride. He said he was happy to do it. I asked if we could hang out sometime and he hasn't replied.

I don't know what to do....I really like my boyfriend but I like the other guy too.

something is telling me he might be cheating..I mean, laughing at texts that arent yours and keeps harassing you like that? Come on, he shouldnt be toching yout butt all the time, and other places. I mean, what friggin boyfriend does that-Oh I know! He wants to get in your pants. Try talking to him and getting him to crack to tell you why he's doing what he's doing. because if I was in your place, I would have left him. Thats not right now he treats you... D:

I edited the post and added more.

I know i shouldn't let him do that stuff and i should confront him about it but i'm afraid he'll break up with me and i just can't deal with that. I really hope he's not cheating...i'm actually crying right now. :C

*huggles* I really wanna help you supha!!! ;-; go with who you think is WWAAAYY better

In that case I would go with the other guy but he no likey meeeeee.....so I stay with le boyfriend.

*huggles* i wish i could do something

Can chu be my rant buddy? I got a lot out by writing that post up der but....yea. more may come.

rant as much as you please :)

Update: so lately I've been crying at the drop of a hat. We have no clue why. Happy or sad even just answering a question in class I begin to tear up. We are gonna try to change my meds or whatever. Well I went to school today and kept tearing up. My boyfriend noticed and was so sweet hugging me and kissing me. He kept trying to cheer me up and it was so sweet. He didn't even get all touchy feely today. Dang I love him when he's like that. I'm happy I'm with him. But this really pretty/hot girl from last year that I hate decided to come back to my school. She's acting like she owns it. Grrr.....

what bi*** she is -.- i hate girls like that

but awww!! *huggles* dont cry buddeh! im glad he's trying to make you happy!

Happy Update: :) so I had a good day. He still wasn't touchy feely. He just held my hand whenever he got the chance. So I'm in a really small school for special kids lol. Whether it's a disability or emotional problems (me) or behavior problems that's what this school is for. So there are like 50 something kids. We have incentive time on fridays. If we were good all week we get to sit on the stage and have social hour and eat ice cream. These guys were sitting really close to me and pissing off my bf by asking me uncomfortable questions. We were on a long bench on one side of a lunch table. One guy was so close he was pressed against my left side. My bf was on my right, kinda straddling the bench lol. He was like 'dude too close' and he pulled me close to him. So i had yummy ice cream with oreo bits and sprinkles and my bf got all protective. So cute<3 lol

awwww xD

lately i have been emotionless really, im smiling less, i'm all down in the dumps..all these meds im taking is seriously driving my head into the gound, I literally forgot what I was watching before neds declassified was on and it took me a bit to remember what I was watching...this is screwing me up so bad ;-;

Aw :C I am so sorry Britt. I know how you feel. I'm not like that right now, but I have been like that many times. *huggles* we'll get through this hard spot together. I'm here for you :) i defininitely understand the memory thing. I'll be doing something and then I realize i don't know what i'm doing or what i just did. I'll sometimes forget entirely what i did the day before. It really sucks. Stay strong, love<3

XD thankies :D

Another Update:

My bf and I have this thing we do whenever we are bored and not together. We will play a texting question game. We'll take turns asking questions to learn more about each other. Today I asked him a few questions and he had some adorable answers.

Me: if you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Him: with you

I was like..awww

Me: if you had one million dollars what would you do with it?
Him: buy you an amazing ring

He's either really sweet or really smooth with girls lol

xD sounds fun

Update:....well I ran out of a few classes crying today. A few of my friends came up to me and told me my bf had sent one of my best friends a picture of....er...that thing...and he called her eyes hot and stuff. She gave me her phone and sure enough he did. So i ran out of my first class with him because i had started sobbing and i could hear him continue on with his conversation and laughing and stuff. I talked to him later, he kissed and hugged me a lot. He thinks its all better. I'm still upset. People are saying i should break up with him but im not going to.

wait wait, who was he saying these things to!? D:

He sent a picture of his...yea...and was calling her eyes hot and idk what else. But to one of my best girl friends.

WWWOOOAAHHH WTF!??!?!?!??! HES A JERK FOR DOING THAT!!!

Yea and he thinks he can make it up to me by taking me to see a movie on Friday. I'm like...we already planned to see a movie on friday anyway so...wtf?

...thats not right.

Idk what to do. I have three classes with him and my school is tiny so i am constantly around him... i really like him. And he keeps saying he loves me but idk if hes lying...

Ok, look dead straight into his eyes, if you see his pupils getting bigger then smaller and keep doing so, he's lying. or if he's tensed

He wasn't at school today, and tons of people were going home sick. I would have left but the nurse didn't want to send more kids home :/